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Been A While

Posted by | Posted in Random | Posted on 24-10-2008

“Does that dress make your bum look big? No, your bum makes your bum look big. But that’s how I like it, so stop whining and open me a beer.

OK, so it’s been a few days since I last posted, but for some reason I just can’t bring myself to waste time writing blog posts unless I’m at work. Funny, that. And as I’ve had this week off, I’m obviously not at work.

But anyway, here I am updating the site again. I tried out that fancy “Automatic Upgrade” plugin today, and it seemed to work really well. Things only took a minute to upgrade the site to the latest version of Beer, whereas doing it manualy can be a right pain in the arse. I highly recommend the plugin.

I saw quite a funny picture the other day, courtesy of I site that I can’t remember. Judging by the picture itself, it’s probably not a site that should be advertised anyway. Here is the masterpiece:

Just kidding, there's no candy...

Made me laugh. There’s a whole bunch of photos in a similar format to that, and as far as I can tell it all started off as a bit of a piss-take of those “motivational” posters that you often see, typically around an office-type workplace. Here’s a few examples of some of the funnier ones:





Crazy lady

Epic Failure


Domestic violence

Epic failure 2

There’s a whole host of others (thousands probably) but you’ll have to search for them yourself. Some of them are well worth it.

I gave blood yesterday for the first time in about four years. At least, I thought it was four years but according to their “records” it was more like five. Well, I guess when you nearly pass out from giving blood a little too fast, you’re likely to have a bit of a break from it. Still, I managed to get myself back their this week and do my part. They’re very strict about who can give blood these days, so if you’re fit and healthy enough to do it, I’d recommend you do. Visit the blood donations website for details. You never know, maybe one day somebody you know will have to rely on there being enough blood donations by people like you and me in order to stay alive. It’s a horrible thought, but definitely a situation where it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Someone said to me the other day that “men are shite with hugs and such”. I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that, as with most things given enough time, men are ultimately better than women at hugging. Not to put too fine a sexist point on it, of course. I mean, just take a look at the modern western world today. Over the last 100 years or so women have made a rather large point about equal opportunities for women, and rightly so if you ask me. We’re all people, and we all deserve the same rights and privilages. But as happens with everything when people start to make allowances where there were none before, some people have decided that not only is it fair for women to have equal rights, but men should strive to be more like women.

I’m a (not so) secret Big Brother fan, and so as usual I watched this year’s outtings. There were the usual bunch of misfits, but one in particular took the whole feminine look a little too far. Stuart could often be seen wearing eyeliner, to the point where one makeup company have decided to bring out a whole range of makeup specifically for guys, and use him as their spokesperson. I use the word “spokesperson” very carefully there, too.

Women these days seem to be trying to rob men of their manliness. They’re always talking about “feelings” and rearranging our flats to invite more “positive” feng shui, but now that’s not enough. We men have to be doing these things too. I’m not against having a good heart-to-heart (or hug) but I don’t like the way society has evolved these days to make us all feel guilty if we don’t act more womanly. It’s wrong.

But it leads me back to my point about men being better than women at things – women have harped on about men getting in touch with their feminine sides for so long that we’re now better women than women are. As proved by Stuart, men look better in maekup; men have developed the “ability” of effectively communicating their feelings on a whim; men are generally better cooks (which was traditionally the woman’s “place”); my personal experience is that men are tidyer; men seem to handle their money better; and of course, we can drink more alcohol and not be sick everywhere.

On the flipside, women seem to be turning into men. But not very good men, which is just as well or else we wouldn’t like them.

I’m not trying to sound sexist or anything, but in keeping with my general hate for the mordern way of living, and it’s attitudes, I dont like the way men are being forced to change their ways. I would think the same thing if women were being forced to do the same, but to be honest, it’s probably the women who are instigating the changes in the first place. After all, it’s women who read the trashy glossy mags that actually promote all this airy-fairy thinking. And the last time I saw a copy of FHM, it didn’t have a list of the 100 Sexiest Eyeliners…

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